Respectful Requests from Children whose Parents are
Separating or getting Divorced

For Parents

For Teachers

For
Other Kids

  • Don’t give us everything we want to get us to like you more than our other parent.
  • Be honest with us. Tell us if you are getting divorced, but please spare us the gory details.
  • Don’t use us as bullets. Don’t fight in front of us. Don’t say, “Your Dad is an idiot”. Don’t ask us if Mom is dating.
  • Let us know that it is OK to love both of you. Don’t make us chose between the two of you.
  • Spend time with us. Ask us how we feel about all the stuff that has happened to our family. We may act like “it’s no big deal” but we need a chance to talk to you about it.
  • Let us know that you love us. Even if we act like we already know., tell us again.
  • Treat us normally.Don’t expect us to do worse. We don’t want you to treat us like victims.
  • But understand that sometimes it’s really hard to concentrate. We worry about our parents.
  • Let us know that you care in case we need to talk to someone. You’d be surprised at how important you are to us.
  • Tell us about the things we do right. We don’t hear that very much.
  • Don’t think of us as different from other kids. We’re happy when we get good grades too.
  • Just remember that it is not your fault that your parents’ are splitting up, even when you did laugh when your dad told that joke abut your mom.
  • Find someone that you can trust to talk to. Sometimes you just need to let it all out.
  • Remember that there are some things – like your parent’s divorce – that you can’t change. Spend your time and energy on things that make you happy instead.
  • If your parent’s start to date or get married again, it doesn’t mean they will stop loving you.
  • Remember that there are some good things about divorce too